Fear and Loathing

I've gotten a bit cocky.  I've been doing really well with the exercise part of the "diet and exercise" thing, and while I knew I needed to work on the eating part, I guess I didn't acknowledge how serious it was.  I weighed myself for the first time in two weeks this morning.

138.

For those keeping score at home, yes, I gained 1 pound from when I first started this blog.  All the work, all the running, all the stickers.  All for not.  As you may have guessed, I'm feeling less than motivated at the moment.

I can't say that it's a complete surprise--I've had my share of junk food in the past few weeks, and without getting on the scale, I wasn't feeling particularly 130-ish.  Or 134-ish, for that matter.  I guess I just hoped that the running would cover for the nachos (on a related note, I did find two different bar/restaurants that serve amazing nachos that are each perfect in completely different ways, like snowflakes).  Alas, the running not only failed to cover for the nachos, but made me hungrier than usual.  I'm told you're supposed to eat things like tuna and bananas to combat this, not pulled pork BBQ nachos (which are as awesome as they sound).  I can practically hear my body laughing at me.  ("You thought just because Left Knee stopped hurting that we'd cave in to your unreasonable demands?  We've been planning our rebellion the whole time!  And here's what we think about this 10k crap!  VIVA LA COUCH!")

So now I'm fear and loathing on my couch.  Fear that I might not be able to make 130 by 30, loathing that I can't control my addiction to junk food.  Interestingly, my 8 year-old mind has come in handy during this dark time.  The beauty of being 8 years old is that you haven't grasped the idea that maybe, just maybe, some things are a little out of reach.  There was no doubt in my mind at 8 that I was going to be an actress when I grew up; in fact, I was pretty damn sure that I was going to be the youngest actress ever to win an Academy Award.  Someone would; why not me?  So 8 year-old mind is helping me out at the moment.  I can still hit 130 by 30.  I'm exercising, and now I know how close I am to 140, as opposed to 130.  And as a wise man once said, knowing is half the battle.